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Commonplace Lavatory Laughs

Restroom comedy has always been the reliable retreat in everyday journalism, and writers stay alert to significant toilet tales and historic moments, especially in relation to football. What a delight it was to discover that an online journalist a well-known presenter possesses a urinal decorated with West Brom motifs in his house. Consider the situation regarding the Barnsley supporter who took the rest room rather too directly, and needed rescuing from a deserted Oakwell after falling asleep on the loo during halftime of a 2015 loss versus the Cod Army. “His footwear was missing and had lost his mobile phone and his hat,” elaborated a Barnsley fire station spokesperson. And who can forget when, at the height of his fame with Manchester City, the Italian striker visited a nearby college to use the facilities back in 2012. “His luxury car was stationed outside, then entered and inquired the location of the toilets, afterward he visited the teachers' lounge,” a student told local Manchester media. “Subsequently he wandered round the campus as if he owned it.”

The Restroom Quitting

Tuesday marks 25 years since Kevin Keegan stepped down as England manager post a quick discussion in a toilet cubicle together with Football Association official David Davies in the underground areas of Wembley, following that infamous 1-0 defeat by Germany in 2000 – the national team's concluding fixture at the famous old stadium. As Davies remembers in his diary, his confidential FA records, he had entered the sodden troubled England locker room immediately after the match, discovering David Beckham crying and Tony Adams energized, both of them pleading for the official to reason with Keegan. After Dietmar Hamann's set-piece, Keegan walked slowly through the tunnel with a blank expression, and Davies discovered him collapsed – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – in the corner of the dressing room, saying quietly: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Collaring Keegan, Davies worked frantically to save the circumstance.

“Where on earth could we find for confidential discussion?” recalled Davies. “The passageway? Swarming with media. The changing area? Crowded with emotional footballers. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with an England manager as players dived into the water. Merely one possibility emerged. The lavatory booths. A significant event in English football's extensive history happened in the old toilets of an arena marked for removal. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Dragging Kevin into a cubicle, I shut the door behind us. We stayed there, eye to eye. ‘My decision is final,’ Kevin declared. ‘I'm leaving. I'm not capable. I’m going out to the press to tell them I’m not up to it. I'm unable to energize the team. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Aftermath

Therefore, Keegan stepped down, subsequently confessing he considered his period as Three Lions boss “empty”. The two-time Ballon d’Or winner added: “I had difficulty passing the hours. I found myself going and training the blind team, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It's a tremendously tough role.” Football in England has advanced considerably over the past twenty-five years. For better or worse, those stadium lavatories and those iconic towers have long disappeared, although a German now works in the coaching zone Keegan formerly inhabited. Thomas Tuchel’s side are among the favourites for next year’s Geopolitics World Cup: England fans, don’t take this era for granted. This exact remembrance from a low point in English football serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

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Follow Luke McLaughlin at 8pm UK time for Women’s Bigger Cup updates from Arsenal 2-1 OL Lyonnes.

Quote of the Day

“There we stood in a long row, clad merely in our briefs. We represented Europe's top officials, top sportspeople, examples, mature people, mothers and fathers, resilient characters with great integrity … but no one said anything. We scarcely made eye contact, our gazes flickered a bit nervously as we were summoned forward in pairs. There Collina observed us from top to bottom with a chilly look. Silent and observant” – previous global referee Jonas Eriksson reveals the humiliating procedures match officials were formerly exposed to by ex-Uefa refereeing chief Pierluigi Collina.

Daily Football Correspondence

“What does a name matter? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss titled ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, together with staff Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been removed from their positions. Is this the termination of the Steve fascination? Not quite! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie remain to manage the main squad. Full Steve ahead!” – John Myles

“Now that you've relaxed spending restrictions and awarded some merch, I've chosen to type and share a brief observation. Ange Postecoglou states that he picked fights in the schoolyard with youngsters he knew would beat him up. This pain-seeking behavior must justify his decision to join Nottingham Forest. As a lifelong Spurs supporter I'll continue appreciating the subsequent season award but the only second-season trophy I can see him winning near the Trent River, if he remains that duration, is the Championship and that would be some struggle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|